So my grandma took me shopping today and for the most part it was alot of fun except I had zero luck finding jeans when it was at the end and I was tired. But yeah, I found alot of good tops and a new hat and got my hair cut so it looks all nice and everything and it was for the most part a really good day.

I love books about twists on old story and fairy tales. One of my favorite storys growing up was Alice in wonder land. I also loved Grimms fairy tales alot too since they held deeper meaning then the disney versions. This is my twist on Alice in wonderland

So yeah, I go to one of my friends birthday partys and it was a ton of fun and everyone had a good time and it was just fantastic. And theirs this guy there. and he was cute and we were getting along pretty well and he was nice and fun and teasing me a bit when we were playing super smash brawl and he's not that much older then me and I was beginning to kind of really like him.

Then I find out from two of my friends on the way back from a late night Dennys run that he's gay.

Fuck my luck

So yeah. My whole day wasn't sucky, Actually most of it was quiet enjoyable. I got to play frisbee golf and get hit by one of the kids a few times but i lived and we laughed. Unexpected hiking trip wasn't that bad even though hiking really isn't my thing. All and all i would label it an okay day. You know, except for the whole thing where one of my close friends died in a ATV accident. That put a little bit of a downer on the day excpecly since I couldn't attend his funneral since we didn't know what to do with the Japanese girl staying with us.

No way no way no way will i ever aprove!!!

Just fantastic. I have a new stalker who actually lives right down the street from me.

He actually shows up at my house without saying anything to me about it before hand. And now he has my number.

Fantastic

I wonder if I ran away from home if anyone would take me in without asking me to go back. At the moment i'm pretty sure i would have no where else to go.

So i suck at listening to good advise....

I know its the smart thing to do and will lead to less pain in the long run but.....

Oh god i'm pathetic. I'm a massocist for emotional pain i swear.

So I won't say anything to her but i won't stop being in love with her just because i can't stop. Its to late. 

So yeah.

I have offically given up on love at the moment. I don't see my feeling being returned and its better to accept this and enjoy  good friendship then ruin it over somthing as pointless as my emotions.

So yeah, thats how things are i guess.

I still wish i could be her most important person though...

I hate unrequitible love!
Love really isnt my thing, don't get me wrong.
Honestly i don't know what i'm feeling is actually love at all. All i know is she makes me feel a way i've never really felt. I can't be close enough to her when i do see her and i get jealous when other people take my spot by her. It makes me feel kindd of pathetic most the time and all my friends that know are totally convinced i'm in love with her.